it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
well you can't waste a boner
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
