Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The best revenge is premature balding
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize