like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
