what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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