South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
