this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
