Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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