Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
