I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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