Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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