It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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