Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
