I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize