There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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