we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Floor bacon is actually really good
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
His nipple licking is glorious
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