I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
