Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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