I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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