no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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