So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
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Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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