i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
