Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
