it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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