My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
