Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm jealous of your bromance
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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