THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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