So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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