It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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