I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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