I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
