who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
