i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
