U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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