I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
