i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I've blown a few things in my day
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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