Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
