You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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