yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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