laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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