You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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