My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
