anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
