have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
