Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
