nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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