Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
