I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize