I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
they're like a gay fantastic four
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
