Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
