I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize