beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
