Swine flu. Run for my life!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
