She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize