I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
