I got chris browned last night
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize