hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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