FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
