You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
