I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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