A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He felt like a one man threesome
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
my liver is dry heaving
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
