Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
