bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
