don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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