why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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