turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud š³
I really regret not asking ālike a cupcakeā when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
