i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Drake has all the answers
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
