Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
